Minions: A Discussion

Today’s Ponderance has been inspired by a question submitted by Scott Cropper:

I decided that at this point in my life that I would prefer ‘throngs of minions’ rather than ‘hordes of minions.’ Any thoughts on this?

Very interesting thought Scott (Ha! That rhymes!). Being a personal friend of yours and being of similar age, I know exactly how you feel. You are at a stage in your life where you still feel, and often times act, like a child. At the same time you are becoming more aware of the constant accumulation of adult responsibilities in your life. The fact that you say you prefer ‘throngs of minions’ over ‘hordes of minions’ is a sign that you are still in denial of your impending adulthood. You see, hordes are much more organized than throngs. Hordes of minions will do your bidding in a quick, efficient manner. Throngs of minions, however, will still do your bidding, but a lack of hierarchy within those throngs will lead to a slower, more chaotic take over of the world. (I assume that your goal is to take over the world. Why else would you be concerned about minions?) At times, there may even be fighting amongst the minions in your throngs. The adult side of you knows that hordes is the best way to go, but the adolescent side of you enjoys the idea of a more chaotic approach to taking over the world. Throngs provide this along with a greater intimidation factor. An unorganized wave of crazed minions charging toward a defenseless Scandinavian herding town is WAY more intimidating than an organized, well-kempt group of soldier-like minions marching into town. (You like that idea, don’t you?)

As you mature your chaotic, impulsive approach to everyday tasks, such as purchasing heavy artillery for your conquest, will be replaced by more effective means. You may find yourself shopping around for the better deals, or cutting out coupons from the Sunday paper. When this stage in your life occurs, you may want to consider trading in your ‘throngs of minions’ for ‘hordes of minions.’ But Scott, I can’t tell you when to do this. That decision must be made by YOU!

About the Author: Patrick Eichhold

2 Comments+ Add Comment

  • Thought and Scott don’t actually rhyme. They have a different vowel sound (the ‘aw’ and the ‘ah’) I can send you some of the rhyming worksheets I use for a couple of my kids.

    • They may not rhyme in “Wiscansin,” but in Ohio they do.

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